wink     ; )

Back from Vacation!

Apologies for not posting earlier. I meant to post before leaving for California to visit family, but my work project consumed all available time and I was packing furiously up until the moment we left.

I had planned on posting a lot while in CA, but that didn't happen either. My main opportunities to get on-line were when Spark was sleeping. Unfortunately, the only computer with internet access was in the room that Spark was sleeping in. Other opportunities were foilded by the general crashiness of Win98.

Upon returning home, I stupidly opened a virus. I had been looking for an excuse to rebuild my machine, so I went ahead and did so, but that took my computer out of comission for several days. And now there's school again. Sigh.

So I wrote a bunch of stuff down using actual pen and ink, and will try to post those over the next few days. If/when I do so, their titles will be prefixed with "What I did on my Spring Break". If I am diligent about this, I can actually get caught up to the present.

I have my doubts. I don't think I've ever started a post, set it aside and then actually finished it. We'll see if I can do it this time. Wish me luck.

Cluster

Here's a handy synopsis of what Cluster Headaches are.

A friend of mine asked me if I have trouble thinking when I'm having a cluster. I can still think fine, but it takes a lot more effort. The pain obviously consumes most of my attention, so it is very hard for me to focus and/or concentrate. Anything that requires significant focus/concentration (e.g. papers/exams) ends up being done much slower and ultimately is of lower quality.

Of course, things like papers take a lot of time, and the headaches won't be continuous for the entire time--that's why they can get done at all. While the actual headaches are happening, I am able to concentrate if I put forth a Herculean effort, but good luck trying to convince me to care that much about anything. Usually, my only priority at those times is getting a hold of meds.

And that brings me to the next wrinkle: meds. The meds are pretty good at masking the pain, but they definitly dull my thinking. So if my headache isn't too bad, I'm left in a dilemma: dull the pain and dull my thinking, or skip the meds so that I can keep some mental acuity. If the headache is bad enough, then I'm not going to think straight anyways, so I should just take the meds so that at least I'm not in pain. But the lighter ones leave me with a trade off to make. And when I have a particularly hard paper to write, sometimes I have to forgo the meds.

Sorry, I'm just kind of rambling now. I'll stop now.

Almost Done

I'm finished with my midterms! WooHoo!

I did about as well as I could have expected given my ongoing Clusters, my responsibilities as a stay-at-home dad, and my work responsibilities. Now I'm devoting my time to finishing a project for work--deadline: Friday morning.

Friday afternoon, we fly to CA so that Tree's family can meet Spark. Spring Break is gonna be sweeeeeet. Midterms over. Work deadline passed. Additional help taking care of Spark. With any luck, my Cluster will be over and done with too (fingers crossed).

Stupid Head

I have been diligent with my meds and as a result, this cluster of headaches is not as bad as it could have been. It is, however, still excruciating.

I have not lost my "Bring-it-on!" attitude (as Syndromes put it), but I must admit that I'm very tired. Keeping that attitude and fighting resignation and despair is exhausting. Throw in midterms and work deadlines (to say nothing of taking care of Spark) and I'm not only burning my candle at both ends, I'm burning it in the middle too.

Spring Break is coming soon. We'll see if I don't collapse before then.

Tardy

I want very badly to finish writing this series on infertility. However, each chapter seems harder than the last to write. There are lots of exposed nerves down there.

Meanwhile, the present marches on and I have been remiss in chronicling it as well. Sigh. I will simply have to jump right in and catch everyone up after the fact.

Also, I did a slight modification to the templates to simplify the sidebar. Plus I added a bunch of people to my blogroll (something that was long overdue).

They're baaaack

The headaches have returned. But I am ready this time--armed with tanks of oxygen, syringes of Imitrex and tablets of Prednisone. Maybe they will be successful in keeping the demons from derailing my life.

Warm Stranger

I got to see Vienna Teng perform at Music Millenium today. What a treat! Even better, I got to meet her briefly after her set. I got a hug, some pictures, and some autographs.

And though we really know each other no better, we are now warmer strangers.

Listening to, seeing, and meeting Vienna was just one part of a beautiful day full of sunshine and warmth, and I was grateful that I was able to take this first opportunity to relax in weeks to make a long awaited meeting.