wink     ; )

As bad as they get

I had my worst cluster in a year this morning. It was an 8 on the Kip Scale (I've never had a cluster that went to 9 or 10). I threw every drug in my arsenal at it, including several new ones that my doctor just prescribed to me, and it took it down to a 7 on the scale.

How bad was it? Well, I took out my bat and repeatedly hit myself over the head with it because, believe it or not that feels better than just doing nothing.

Yeah, it was that bad.

Besides banging my head against walls or hitting it with a bat, I was also hyper-ventilating and rocking back and forth and whimpering. Thank God for Tree who took care of Spark while I was incapacitated. I don't know what I would have done if today hadn't been a holiday and she had been at work.

Once the meds dropped me down to a 7 on the Kip Scale I was able to function again. Even though I was in terrible pain, it was now tolerable, though just barely. I managed to hold myself together through playgroup. My cluster didn't fade until 3:00--a full 6 hours after it started.

I can't handle too many more of those.